


Forget-Me-Nots

by littlecrazyfangirl_98



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, Dreams, Eskel takes care of Jaskier, It will take a while to get to Geralt so be prepared, M/M, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Yennefer/Geralt mentioned, after Mountain break-up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecrazyfangirl_98/pseuds/littlecrazyfangirl_98
Summary: After Geralt yelled at Jaskier, the bard leaves.Jaskier breaks down in a forest crying and heartbroken. He mutters the wish to forget his time with Geralt, a chance for a restart.He would have never guessed, that his wish would be granted.
Relationships: Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 39
Kudos: 299





	1. A wish granted?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of probably many to come.  
> This idea just came to me and I had to write it. I am quite happy,how the first chapter turned out!  
> Feel free to tell me your opinion and thoughts in the comments!

Jaskier felt many emotions as he turned away from Geralt and went back to the camp. 

He didn't speak a word and his hands were shaking as he packed his things. 

There were tears in his eyes as he hurried down the mountain. He had no destination in mind, just wanted to get away. Away from Geralt.

In a forest not too far away Jaskier finally broke down. 

He fell to his knees and allowed his tears to flow freely now. A heart-wrenching sob escaped him as he tried to process everything he felt at the moment. 

Anger. At himself for not knowing better. At Geralt for lashing out at him like that.

Betrayal. Had he really been so wrong about Geralt? A man he called friend, his best friend even? 

Frustration. He had tried so hard to become Geralt's friend, even at times when the Witcher had treated him like shit. And this was the result? Had he really wasted two decades of his life for this? Was this his own destiny? 

Heartbreak. Yes, he loved the man. Still, Jaskier could have lived with being just a friend but apparently Geralt didn't want that. 

So all he could do now, was to fulfill the Witcher's oh so clear wish. 

Jaskier had to move on. Somehow. It wasn't the first rejection he'd ever received. Though, truth be told, none had ever hurt like this. So,it wouldn't be easy, but not impossible. It was not like the bard had a choice anyway, since Geralt had made it very clear that he didn't want Jaskier by his side. 

"If life could give me one blessing it would be to take you off my hands!" 

The bard could still hear these shouted words loud and clear in his head. They would haunt him for a while, he knew. 

"Yeah, and if life could give me a single blessing," Jaskier muttered as he slowly stood up again, " I'd wish for it to be a restart. To simply forget you Geralt. So I can start anew and not feel like I wasted the better part of my life. To avoid all this frustration and heartbreak."

Suddenly there was a loud thunder, making Jaskier jump and birds fly away startled. The wind was picking up as well. 

"Oh that's just my luck…." Jaskier grumbled. 

A storm coming seemingly out of nowhere? Perfect to make this awful day even worse. 

The bard just hoped the next town wasn't too far away or that he at least would find an empty cave to find shelter in. 

As quick as he could Jaskier made his way through the woods. However, he didn't get far, feeling dizzy all of the sudden. 

Jaskier leaned against a tree, cursing under his breath and then taking a few deep breaths. 

He wondered what was going on. Was he getting sick? Hadn't he drunk enough? Was it just the emotional stress? 

Another loud thunder tore Jaskier out of his thoughts. 

He had to move on. So he went forwards again, slower this time. But it was no use. The dizziness didn't go away, it was only getting worse. 

A flash of pain shot through Jaskier's head and he barely held back a scream as he sank to the ground, holding his head between his hands. 

It hurt so much he could barely see straight and his whole body was shaking now. 

Was he going to die here? Alone in a forest in the middle of a storm?

Who would find him here?

Who would miss him? 

Geralt probably not. This was after all what the Witcher had wished for, right? Dead Jaskier really couldn't bother him anymore.

These sad and bitter thoughts were the last Jaskier had before everything went black. 

***

There were a few birds singing, a fire crackling and somebody was moving around barely audible. 

Jaskier didn't see a reason to question these sounds. His mind felt foggy and he was rather exhausted. Another hour or two of blissful sleep sounded better than investigating right now. 

He turned to his side to get comfortable again. Jaskier noted that he wasn't lying in a bed. Too hard. Too cold. Of course, he was sleeping outdoors. Wasn't the first time. 

So Jaskier drifted back to sleep quickly and easily. 

The next time Jaskier registered any sound, the fire was still crackling but there were no birds singing anymore. There was also the sound of somebody sharpening weapons. 

Now this worried the bard. He was pretty sure he hadn't traveled with anyone, who carried a weapon. Had he been kidnapped? Were they after his parents money? 

Slowly Jaskier opened his eyes. It seemed to be quite late already and he was thankful not to be blinded by bright sunlight, since he felt pretty hungover. 

Actually his plan was to turn his head, to see who was there with him and then decide what to do, staying or trying to sneak away. However, as soon as Jaskier moved his head, a flash of pain shot through it and he couldn't suppress a whine. 

The sound of weapon sharpening stopped. 

Jaskier bit his lip, hoping he wasn't in danger. Or at least not in danger he couldn't talk himself out of. 

"You are finally awake." A calm voice sounded and only a moment later Jaskier could see, who it belonged to.

A tall broad man with short hair. His eyes were yellow, but as the man kneeled down beside Jaskier, they seemed to shine golden. There was also a rather nasty scar covering nearly half of the man's face. 

Jaskier couldn't help but wonder what story was behind said scar. 

"You were quite lucky, you know? I found you unconscious in the woods. Something could have easily made you their meal. What were you even doing alone so deep in the forest?" the stranger questioned. 

Jaskier furrowed his brows. As far as he remembered he hadn't been in any forest recently. He actually always tried to stay on the street when he went from town to town. He was just a bard after all. Yes, he wasn't too bad at hand to hand combat and also had a dagger, but against these creatures that were said to live in some forests he probably stood no chance. He was no Witcher.

"I can't remember going into any forest." Jaskier finally replied truthfully. 

The other man frowned and was silent for a while, probably going through different possibilities in his head. Then he asked:"Well, what is the last thing you remember?"

The last thing Jaskier remembered was intense pain, thinking he would die. Oddly he can't remember feeling fear.

He tried to think back before that. What had he done? Where had he been? 

"The last I remember is being on the street, near a town. Alone. And then, uhm, I suddenly was in the woods, feeling dizzy and my head hurting." Jaskier told the stranger. 

"Hmm,seems like you have a memory loss between being on the street and shortly before you passed out." The man concluded.

Jaskier's eyes went wide and he sat up. A bit too quickly, causing him to wince in pain and feel dizzy again. There was suddenly a warm hand on his shoulder, steading him. Jaskier gave the man a small thankful smile.

"Will I get my memories back?" he asked then. 

"I think so. From what I know most people do after a while." was the reply. "However, as far as I could see you were not injured, so I wonder what caused the amnesia." 

"So, what now?" 

"There is a village not too far away." the man told Jaskier. "I wanted to go there anyway because rumours say they have a ghoul problem. I am sure they have a healer that can have a look at you." 

"Ghoul problem?" Jaskier questioned, "Why would you….? Wait! Yellow eyes! You are a Witcher!" 

"You really just realized that now?" the man asked, sounding amused, but also a little wary.

"Well, excuse me, but my head hurts and everything feels a bit fuzzy, so you don't really get to know me at my best." the bard retorted with a little pout. 

The Witcher chuckled, sounding somewhat relieved. 

"I found you face down in the dirt, unconsciousness, so yeah, I agree." he teased. 

Jaskier pouted even more. "You are mean!" he exclaimed. 

"I've been called worse." the man stated with a bitter smile. 

"I have no reason to call you worse, but I would like to call my saviour by his true name." Jaskier said now, instead of a pout a smile on his face. 

The Witcher snorted and shook his head disbelieving at the bard's behaviour. "Eskel." 

Jaskier smiled brightly. "It's an honour to meet you Witcher Eskel! You are actually the first Witcher I ever met." he exclaimed, causing said man to raise an eyebrow. However, Jaskier continued undisturbed:"My name is Julian, but you can call me Jaskier. That's what I call myself, since I officially became a bard." 

Eskel frowned. He had the feeling to have heard this name before, he couldn't recall in what context though. Probably just when a different bard played a song originally written by Jaskier. 

"Yeah, I guessed you were a bard since not just anyone carries a lute around." he decided to comment. 

"My lute!" Jaskier exclaimed with wide eyes, as if he just remembered his instrument, "Where is it?" 

Eskel stood up, went over where the put the belongings of the bard, picked them up and gave them to Jaskier. 

Immediately the younger man took the lute and inspected it. "Oh my precious thing, I'm so sorry I...wait!" 

"Something wrong?" Eskel asked as he sat down again. 

"This...this doesn't look like the lute I had." Jaskier replied a bit confused, "My lute was quite simple to be honest, but it got the job done. This however,...this lute looks much more expensive." 

"Don't forget, you seem to suffer from memory loss." Eskel reminded the bard. 

Jaskier looked up at him, eyes wide and vulnerable. It made a protective instinct in the Witcher stir. 

"How much can't I remember then?" Jaskier asked quietly, "Days? Months? ...years?" 

Eskel laid a hand in the bard's shoulder, hoping it would comfort Jaskier a little bit or at least would signal that he doesn't have to go through it alone. 

"I don't know." he said, "But I'm sure we'll find out soon and who knows, maybe the healer in the next town can already cure whatever happened to you or your memories come back after enough rest." 

Jaskier nodded. "When will we go there?" he asked.

"Tomorrow."

Again the younger man nodded. 

"Are you hungry by the way?" Eskel questioned and stood up, "You were out for nearly two days, you sure must be." 

"A little." Jaskier admitted.

"Bread or meat?" 

The bard considered his options for a moment before he replied:"I think bread will do and maybe some water?" 

Eskel gave him a little smile and nodded. "Of course."

He went towards his horse but then turned around again. "Hey, I think there was a notebook in your bag, maybe that will help you remember something?" he suggested. 

Jaskier quickly put his lute down carefully and pulled his bag closer. He opened it and saw the notebook lying on top of all the other things, mostly clothes. He took it out of the bag. 

Jaskier traced the cover with his fingertips. He remembered this notebook well. It was a goodbye-gift from one of his students at his last day of teaching in Oxenfurt. Even though he hadn't teached there long after his own graduation, he had been loved by many students. 

He hadn't used it much yet though, at least as far as he could remember. Sure he had composed one or two songs and made a few notes but nothing worthy to note. 

Jaskier opened it anyways. Maybe he made some notes that could help him.

Going through the pages he quickly realised it was a lot fuller than he remembered it to be. How much time must have passed for him to write so much? So much he couldn't remember writing. 

The bard goes to the first song in this book that he can't remember writing. 

Meanwhile Eskel was back with bread and water, sitting down beside the younger man. 

"Hey, do you know a song called 'Toss a coin to your Witcher'?" Jaskier questioned. 

Eskel frowned. "Of course. I think everyone knows this song. It helped the reputation of Witchers and I don't have to dodge stones being thrown at me all the time anymore. Why?" 

The bard worried his lower lip between his teeth. "And do you remember by any chance when this song was first sung?" 

"I think that was around twenty years ago." Eskel replied.

Shocked Jaskier looked at him. "Twenty years?"

The Witcher became slightly worried. "What is the problem?" he asked.

Jaskier showed him the page in his notebook, his hands shaking slightly. "I think I am the one, who wrote the song but I can't remember it." 

Eskel's eyes grew wide. He could barely believe it. Not only had the bard apparently a memory loss of twenty years or longer but this evidence also meant that Eskel hadn't found just any bard in the forest; he had found  _ Geralt's bard _ . 


	2. Blessing or curse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and all those nice and great comments I received after the first chapter already! So here is already the second chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it just as much!

Jaskier had been quiet since he found out how far back his memory loss reached. Had eaten his dinner in silence, had read in his notebook for a while, hoping he would remember something. However, he was still exhausted and his head hurt, so he gave up after not even an hour. He bid Eskel goodnight and laid back down again. 

To be honest, this behaviour worried the Witcher a bit, but he supposed the bard just needed time. 

It didn't take long for him to get lost in his own thoughts. 

He still wondered what happened to Jaskier. Had he maybe been hit by a spell? Where was Geralt? Did he know his bard had been apparently running around in a dangerous forest? What would he do in such a situation? Was it a coincidence that it seemed like Jaskier's memory loss made him forget Geralt completely? 

Eskel sighed. He needed to get his head clear. So he knelt in front of the fire and started to mediate.

***

_It was cold. Stormy. Foggy._

_Jaskier could barely see where he was going. What did it matter though? The bard had no destination. He was just going forward. Without a purpose. Without a destiny._

_Suddenly he heard something. A growl._

_Jaskier froze,held his breath._

_Seconds passed, then suddenly he could see them: A pair of yellow eyes, focused on him, slowly coming closer._

_The bard stumbled backwards. This couldn't be good._

_Out of the fog a wolf appeared. His were those dangerous eyes. The wolf's fur was white, but smeared with blood._

_The bard gulped. Hypnotized by those eyes. Transfixed by those elegant movements as the predator stalked closer._

_It was a dangerous creature, Jaskier knew, but somehow he couldn't get himself to be afraid. For some unknown reason the bard wanted to get closer to the wolf._

_Maybe it was just a misunderstood creature._

_Slowly, carefully Jaskier took a step forwards._

_The wolf bared his teeth in response._

_Still Jaskier felt no fear. Just curiosity. He wanted to understand, to hear the wolf's story._

_Was he foolish or brave?_

_He got closer and closer, not backing away again, even as the wolf growled low and dangerous._

_Jaskier knelt right in front of the wolf. It didn't attack. The bard smiled._

_All bark, no bite it seemed._

_He reached out with a hand, petted it. The wolf let him. Jaskier relaxed._

_He let his barley there guard down._

_Suddenly everything happened so fast._

_A woman laughing._

_A loud thunder._

_The wolf jumped at him._

_Pain._

_***_

Jaskier woke up with a scream. 

A horse whinnied, distressed at the sound. 

Eskel was by the bard's side in a matter of seconds. 

"What happened? Are you okay?" The Witcher asked, concern evident in his voice.

Jaskier looked down and sighed. Embarrassed. "Yeah,just a bad dream. Sorry." he replied. 

"No need to apologize." Eskel stated, "We all have nightmares from time to time." 

Jaskier nodded, but didn't look up. He wasn't even sure if he really had a nightmare. It definitely didn't feel like nightmares he had before. This one had felt more real. Meaningful even. 

"Let's eat breakfast and then go to the village." 

Again the bard nodded. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. Not for the first time he wondered, how he deserved this. Honestly, things could only get better now, at least Jaskier hoped so. 

"How's your head by the way?" Eskel asked as he sat down close to the other man and gave him some bread. 

"Better." Jaskier replied, "It still hurts but it's manageable." 

"That's good to hear."

After they finished breakfast and packed their things, Eskel climbed on his horse. Jaskier didn't even think about it as he strapped his lute on his back and went ahead, fully expecting the Witcher to ride beside him. 

Instead he heard Eskel ask surprised and a little confused:"You want to walk?"

Jaskier stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. On his horse Eskel was quick to catch up to him. 

"Uhm…" the bard said dumbfounded, "I guess, I just assumed…. Well, you said the village is not far, so it would be no problem for me to walk."

"Exactly, it's not far away, so it shouldn't be that big of a problem for Scorpion to carry us both." Eskel gave Jaskier a little smile before scratching his neck and adding:"Also, it just feels unfair if you have to walk while I ride. If anything, it should be the other way around with me being a Witcher and therefore tiring not so quickly." 

"Oh" was all Jaskier commented. To be honest, he didn't know why he just assumed Eskel would want him to walk. The Witcher was obviously a nice and kind man. 

Again Eskel smiled at him. "Come on then! Get on the horse." 

Finally Jaskier smiled himself and nodded before he got on Scorpion as well. He sat behind Eskel and wrapped his arms loosely around the Witcher's waist. 

As soon as Eskel made sure Jaskier was ready he gave Scorpion the sign to move forwards again. 

***

Not even an hour later they arrived at their destination. Eskel led Scorpion to the inn of the village. 

The two men got off the horse and while Eskel gave Scorpion to the stable boy Jaskier looked around. 

"It may be small but it is also beautiful, kind of peaceful." the bard commented. 

"I agree. I like villages surrounded by nature more than towns surrounded by cold walls anyways." Eskel replied. 

"Well, most people connect those walls with safety." 

The Witcher huffed. "It's a delusion though. More murders happen in towns than in villages like this."

"To be honest, I think for most people it seems to be more acceptable to die by another human's hand than to be torn apart by a mindless beast." Jaskier said.

"You see, that's the problem." the Witcher sighed, "More often than not these beasts are not mindless. Some of them were humans just like you, some still are, if you take a werewolf for example. But it's not exactly human, so people get scared and just want it dead and gone." 

Jaskier cocked his head to the side. "Do you think humans and not-humans could live together in peaceful coexistence?" he asked.

"Probably not." Eskel replied, "but it would already help immensely if humans would be a bit more… humane." 

"Humane,huh?" Jaskier thought about that for a moment before he continued, "So, I guess in the end humans can be monsters too. Oh well, actually I shouldn't be surprised about that."

"But not all humans. Just like not all beasts can be considered mindless, not all humans have to be secret monsters." Eskel clarified. 

Jaskier looked at the Witcher, something strange in his eyes as he said:"But every human has the potential to be one. " 

Eskel really didn't know what to reply, so he simply motioned to the inn, "Let's go inside." 

They entered the inn and Eskel directly approached the innkeeper, Jaskier following close behind. 

The innkeeper looked up and first at Eskel, apparently recognising him as a Witcher quickly because he greeted them with:"Ah, a Witcher, probably heard about our little problem in the cemetery,eh?" 

Eskel nodded:"Yeah, I did"

"You need to talk to the gravedigger, he can give you the key and will also pay you once the job is done." The innkeeper told the Witcher. 

"Thank you for the information." Eskel replied,"I have another question, however, is there a healer in this town? My friend here needs to speak with one." 

For the first time the innkeeper looked at Jaskier, who smiled friendly. 

The man's eyes grew wide:"Is that….Jaskier? The famous bard?"

"Uh, you…. recognise me?" Jaskier asked, choosing his words carefully. Not everyone needed to immediately know he lost years of memories after all. 

"Of course! I mean, sure, it's been a few years since you've been last here, together with the White Wolf, but you haven't changed much." The innkeeper replied.

"Oh, I see." the bard muttered. So he had been here already. He looked around the inn. Nothing seemed familiar. Jaskier huffed frustrated. 

"If you need to go to the healer I assume you won't feel up to perform this evening?" the innkeeper questioned carefully. 

Jaskier's attention snapped back to him. "Ah,no, I am afraid I won't perform this evening good sir. Maybe another day." He replied and smiled apologetic. 

To be honest, the bard actually would love to perform, yearned for it even. But surely people would request songs from him he didn't remember. The innkeeper called him famous. Jaskier definitely couldn't remember gaining any popularity. Had just been another bard to all innkeepers. An annoyance sometimes, if he talked too much or was to blame for a brawl. 

Eskel cleared his throat, "So,where can we find the healer?" 

"Ah, right. Just follow the street, it's the last house." 

Eskel nodded:"Thank you."

So a few minutes later the Witcher and the bard stood in front of the house that was supposed to be the healer's. 

"Okay, let's go inside." Eskel said and proceeded to do just that.

Jaskier of course followed. "I really hope they can help." 

"Help with what?" A melodic female voice sounded. 

Both men turned in the direction where it had come from and saw a woman approaching them. 

She looked young and had blond,long hair. Her eyes were so blue they nearly seemed inhuman. Her movements were graceful, her smile warm and welcome. 

"My headache and memory loss." Jaskier answered before Eskel could. 

"That really sounds like a serious problem." the woman said. 

Jaskier nodded, "It definitely is!" 

The woman turned to Eskel, "It will take a while to talk with him and examine your friend so I suggest you busy yourself for an hour or two. I am sure you are in this village for a job anyway,right?" 

"I planned to do a job here, yeah, but I don't have a problem with waiting here." Eskel replied without hesitation.

However Jaskier looked at him and said:"You don't have to though." 

"Are you sure?" The Witcher questioned, not entirely convinced to just leave the bard alone with a stranger. 

"Yeah, don't worry about me so much." Jaskier replied with a smile.

Eskel sighed:"Alright,see you in a bit!" 

***

When Eskel finally collected his coin he wasn't in a good mood. This whole job had taken way longer than he anticipated. Complications to get the key from the gravedigger, more monsters than Eskel had thought. So now the Witcher's armour was stained with blood, he was exhausted and really hoped Jaskier was okay. 

With long, quick steps Eskel made his way to the healer's house. 

When the Witcher entered he saw Jaskier sitting on a rather comfortable looking chair with a cup of a steaming liquid in his hands. 

The bard looked up as he heard Eskel approach and smiled brightly. "You are back!" he exclaimed. 

The Witcher couldn't help but smile slightly at this. "That I am." Then he asked:"How are you feeling?"

"Good." Jaskier replied, "She gave me something for the headache and it's completely gone! At least for the moment." 

"And the memory loss?"

"Well, that is a bit more complicated." the healer commented, coming seemingly out of nowhere. 

Eskel tried his best not to look too startled at this. 

"Will you finally tell me, now that Eskel is here?" Jaskier questioned. 

"Yes." was the reply. 

The Witcher folded his arms in front of his chest. "Okay, what's the issue?" 

"The memory loss has definitely been caused by magic." she told them, "And before you ask me, if I can reverse it, no I can not. It was a strong spell. I even think it's ancient magic. So there is a possibility that this memory loss wasn't caused by a normal mage." 

"Who did it then? What's your theory?" Eskel asked. 

"The gods."

"Are you kidding?" Jaskier jumped up.

Eskel huffed, getting annoyed. "Why should they do something like this? Stealing a bard's memory seems rather random to me." 

"Maybe I angered them somehow and they cursed me with memory loss." Jaskier suggested quietly. 

"Actually I think it's a blessing not a curse." The healer stated with a smile.

"He has forgotten two decades. How can you call it a blessing?" Eskel questioned. 

"Have you never wished to forget something?" she retorted. 

Eskel had to admit she had a point. Countless times he wished to forget events, even if just so the nightmares would stop. 

"But what did happen then that made me want to forget twenty years or more?" Jaskier wondered. 

"Sadly I can't answer that question." The healer replied. 

Eskel thought about the whole situation for a moment, before asking:"Will he ever be able to remember though?" 

She nodded. "Yeah, I think so. If I interpret what Jaskier told me about his dream right, the memories are not gone, just… locked away. The right… trigger will probably make him remember." 

Jaskier looked at her with wide eyes. "But if I never find these triggers I will never remember?" 

"Aww, come on, be a bit more optimistic."

"I can certainly understand why he isn't in the most optimistic mood right now." Eskel defended the bard.

That earned him a smile from the healer. "Of course." she said, "However, I am sure, if he keeps traveling around, sooner or later he will stumble over things that will help him remember what happened." 

"I surely hope so." Jaskier sighed, "Anyway, thank you for your help. What kind of payment do you want?"

The healer waved him off. "None from you." Then she looked at Eskel 

The Witcher resisted the urge to sigh, fully convinced she had a job for him. Slaying something, getting ingredients. He just hoped it could wait till tomorrow. 

What he didn't expect was her request to be:"I want you to promise me, that you keep Jaskier safe. That's all I need as payment." 

After speaking these words she offered him her hand to shake

Both Eskel and Jaskier looked at her surprised. Causing a moment of silence. 

After he finally recovered from the shock the Witcher quickly shook her hand and replied:"Of course." 


End file.
